The new ME!!

on

When I was in college, I was a very different person than what I am now. I was more carefree, fun loving and I couldn’t wait to get started with my own life. When I moved to US for my studies, I was very happy. I did learn a lot by living on my own and that is one of my best decision so far in life. In the past few weeks, I have been thinking a lot about how I used to be and how I am now and I cannot help but feel sad about the way I have changed. Mind you that having kids changes all of us and I love that change in me. But, I still want to be the caring fun loving person that I was 10 years ago.

Life now has become very monotonous and I hate that. On one hand, I am happy that I quit my job and I am staying home and spending some time with Sanjay. But, at the same time, I have become very lazy and I just don’t feel like doing anything at all anymore. I kind of know where all this is coming from but, there is nothing I can do now to change all that happened. A few weeks back, me and S had to deal with some stuff which was not to our liking (more so not to my liking at all). I just did not have a say in that I feel that what ever was done was very unfair and people were taking me for granted. I realized that if I do not stand up for myself, nothing will ever change. Being nice can only bring you so much. I want to have things my way and if they don’t happen my way, at least I want to see something good in what ever happens. I don’t ever want to lose my mind over simple things in life. I want to enjoy life as much as possible and have fun along the way.

I am going to force myself to see the happiness in all things possible. 🙂 I know it is easier said than done. But, I am going to put in all my efforts.

 

PS: I have decided to change the name I blog with (Telugumom) to Sushma. I don’t remember why I chose ‘Telugumom’ all those years ago, but I do not like it anymore.

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. I like the new you. Proud of you dear !!

    1. Sushma says:

      Thank you LF 🙂

  2. I think about this every day too. How I used to be and how much I changed. I also like what you said. I love the changes kids got in me. But the other reasons, not so much.

    What you said about is finding happiness everywhere is right. It might sound clichéd, but its damn true. Good luck.

    1. Sushma says:

      Thanks DIL 🙂 Finding happiness in everything is easier said than done for sure. But, I have decided to try – the least I can do to make my life better.

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